The Evidence

Yesterday as I was washing dishes I glanced out the window and immediately stopped what I was doing.

A gust of wind had come through our heavily wooded backyard and it now appeared to be raining leaves - swirls of goldenrod and crimson floated gracefully downward until finding a comfortable resting place. It was one of the most amazing things I've ever seen. Absolutely gorgeous.

It occurred to me that this beautiful display probably happens several times a day whether I witness it or not. I know it happens because I see the evidence all over the ground. I was privileged to catch one of those autumnal showings that morning but the show goes on whether or not I see it with my own eyes. It would be ridiculous to claim the leaves never fell from the tree because I didn't personally see it happen.

The evidence around us.

We don't necessarily see God with our own eyes but the evidence is everywhere. A newborn baby. A caterpillar changing into a butterfly. Ocean waves rhythmically pounding the shore. Sunrise. Sunset. A rainbow. The human brain. Towering trees grown from a miniscule seed. Hummingbirds. And on and on . . .

Whose ideas do you suppose those are? It boggles my mind to hear the theory that we evolved from some tiny germ (or as our former preacher used to say, glorified pond scum). How do they suppose that there was nothing - nothing - and then all of a sudden something?? A human explanation cannot account for that and some would rather accept that large, gaping hole than acknowledge a Creator who "calls things that are not as though they were." (Romans 4:17)

It's obvious there is a Creator. Just look at all the evidence around us.

Perspective

Recently I commented to a friend that the medical trials she and her husband had been through had to have been, among other things, a test of faith.

Her reply was beautiful. She stated she would not call it a test of faith but rather a testimony to the power of God's love as experienced through family and friends.

That powerful perspective inspired me to take the same approach today.

Two years ago today we miscarried our Sweet Baby. It was a devastating loss and although I did not want to dwell on it today it was also impossible not to think about it. I didn't want to mope around today - too many good things going on in the present and besides, what good would it do anyway?- but could not exactly escape the memories either. It seemed right to remember but was not quite sure how to go about that in a spiritually healthy way.

So today I decided to take my friend's approach and chose to focus on and remember how we experienced God's love through such a difficult journey:

The tangible comfort of the Spirit

The leading to literally pages of Scripture that spoke truth and hope into my heart

The kindness of friends and family who let me cry, cried with me and lifted us up in prayer - this was no small thing

The servant heart of the retired neighbor that mowed our lawn with no expectation of credit or thanks

The wisdom of another neighbor that advised me to "grieve well" - I took those words to heart and have since passed them on to others

The ministry of the music sent to me by a dear friend - she knew what I did not at the time, that the need to surround myself with worship music regardless of my desire to worship was crucial. This is something else I have passed on to many.

The friends who left a mysterious care package on my porch - cute pjs, chocolate, lip gloss, and a good movie. This nourished my soul more than they could ever know. It somehow gave me permission to just sink into the couch for a while.

I could go on and on . . .

When I stop, look at the above list and think about how the Lord moved - I mean really moved- through His people I am astounded and humbled to have truly experienced the touch of His hands and movement of His feet.

And then, of course, the knowledge that the ultimate display of the Lord's love - Jesus' death and resurrection - would one day reunite us with our baby. That thought alone moves me to praise. . .

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
2 Corinthians 4:16-18

So, here we are. Temporarily living in a fallen world that unfortunately includes all kinds of pain and heartache.

But what an amazing Lord we have that buffers our pain with acts of His love.

Pain producing praise . . .let us not miss the miracle in that provision.

Apparently, perspective is everything.

Brain Rattlings

As in, things rattling around in my head today . . .

*There is something very wrong about large Christmas ornaments hanging above the Halloween section at Target.

*If my dog could talk I wonder if she could ever adequately explain why she believes eating dirty diapers out of the trash is a good idea.

*I really wish Macaroni Grill delivered. Mmmmmm.

*Brownies will suffice for dinner in the absence of above longed-for Macaroni Grill

*Inevitably, children will always get sick right before a weekend or when the husband is out of town. Or both. Why is this???

*We dumped cable. I miss cable. Is it possible to have cable withdrawal?? Oh, TLC, one day we shall meet again . . .

*I think every season at the moment is my favorite season. Fall is breathtaking around here. I literally have laughed out loud or said "Wow!" at turning a corner only to see a blazing red tree jumping out of the foliage. Isn't God beautiful!

*I never was a huge candy corn fan until I met my husband. I now understand the dire importance of purchasing Brach's - and only Brach's - candy corn. Store brand is not acceptable.

Enough rattlings. On to the brownies . . .

Not How It's Supposed to Be

Please be praying for my longtime friend Pam, her husband Chris and all their family. Last night they said goodbye to their sweet baby Bennett who flew into the arms of Jesus at 6 months old. He was awaiting a heart transplant and held on as long as he could.

I have no words.

But I do hold tightly to the reminder Isaiah gives about the new Heaven and the new Earth that's coming:

"Never again will there be in it an infant who lives but a few days . . ."
Isaiah 65:20a

This is not how it's supposed to be. And it's not how it will always be. But right now it's unfathomable.

Lord, come quickly.

Daydreaming

The other night I was reading a new favorite book, "What Every Mom Needs", for an upcoming playdate/book discussion with some other moms. (Whatever stage you're in, whether or not it includes motherhood right now, hang with me - this isn't just a "mom" thing.)

"Identity" was the current subject and, in an effort to broaden our job descriptions beyond "mom", the book was attempting to resurrect buried dreams. It asked the simplest question that I still cannot answer:

"What did you daydream about when you were a child?"

I get the point - that we tend to lose ourselves and our dreams as we become older and more tangled in "grown-up" worries and responsibilities. If we can somehow excavate those long-ago musings then maybe we'd at least have a starting point towards where our hearts long to travel.

But I could not for the life of me think of one thing I used to daydream about.

Am I the only one in this boat? Am I so stinkin' analytical that I never let my mind wander? Or did it wander and those whimsical paths are so grown over with worldly weeds that I just can't see them anymore?

I love, love, love being a mom. Just as many of you love your primary calling whatever that may be for you. But I can't imagine that God created us to fill one, and only one, role at a time.

So now I'm doing a lot of soul-searching for those other roles, talents, dreams that would contribute to my continual quest to be ALL God intends me to be. To bring Him glory in every way possible.

By the way, this is not the same as packing my schedule as full as possible with pottery classes and underwater basket-weaving. I think it's more along the lines of choosing to put off mopping the oh-so-nasty kitchen floor for just a little while longer so I can, say, write a post on a too-often neglected blog . . . :-)

Maybe for you it's not grading that stack of papers until you've read a chapter in your favorite book. Or diving into a new recipe, creating artistry in the kitchen, allowing those work e-mails to sit just a little while longer.

Not saying it's easy. Currently I am sitting with my back to this mess of a house so I can't be distracted by it. And I seriously just reread this post for editing with my fingers in my ears in order to focus and block out Little Miss Chatterbox for two minutes.

So.

I'm still looking for those childhood daydreams. Not sure if I'll remember them but at least it's got me thinking and I think that's the point. I hope it got you thinking, too. :-)

To The Desert Dwellers

As often happens in time of great spiritual growth and renewal, we have been battling the enemy mightily - and sometimes not so mightily - around here.

For the past month there has been spiritual attack after attack launched against our family. The enemy is trying to distract us, discourage us. And to be honest sometimes he succeeds.

But then God reminds me - again - who He is and how much bigger He is than anyone, anything or any circumstance. So when this video came in my inbox today I almost laughed out loud at God's perfect timing. I have a feeling I'm not the only one it might speak to today . . .

Who's Teaching Here?

The other night my 3-year old and I were reading in her Bible at bedtime. Finishing the well-read story of David and Goliath I asked her:

"Who was bigger: David or Goliath?"

"Goliath."

"Who was stronger?"

Without pause she responded, "God."

Well said, little one.