Friday, June 27, 2008

Why Am I Surprised?

Our little family is on the verge of a huge change - two actually. I normally don't do change well. Throw me a life preserver because I am usually drowning myself in details, worrying about things I have no control over.

I wanted this time to be different. I've been praying for peace and joy in the midst of the chaos. To know (and act like I know) that God is indeed in charge of every single detail and HE will take care of it.

And you know what?

God said yes to that prayer. I have never felt so calm, so peaceful about such huge changes. I still have my moments, but I overwhelmingly know that God will take care of it all.

So why am I so surprised that He said yes? I have actually found myself lately fretting about my lack of anxiety! How's that for an ungrateful and confused gift recipient??! I feel so peaceful that I worry it will all crash down on me unexpectedly. The lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I'm just in heavy denial.

I think at this point God might be tempted to roll His eyes at me.

And it makes me wonder if I really understand Who I am praying to? I'm not just venting to someone as powerless as myself. I'm requesting mercy and grace from Someone who CAN do something about it.

Lord, I believe . . .but help me in my unbelief!!

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


I usually try to stay away from very personal posts on this particular blog, but this thought came to me so strongly last night that I had to post.

Whatever is going on in your life right now, whomever or whatever has walked out or walked over your heart, no matter how bad it is - and no doubt that some of you are in unbelievable circumstances right now - listen up:

Your God has not failed you.

Justice may have failed you. Other humans may have failed you. Living in a fallen world may have failed you. But your God has not.

Last fall my husband and I lost an already much-loved baby only 7 1/2 weeks into the pregnancy. I'm reminded even more so about this as we just passed the baby's Man-given due date, although I know that was never the date God had in mind. Please understand that a loss at any stage is still the loss of a child and we grieved intensely. It was a hard, hard road that came with many questions - my thought process started to sound like the book of Job with various versions of the same question: Why?

And one day as I poured over Scripture, the following verse leaped off the page and said to me clear as day, "I did not fail you."

But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation.
Psalm 13:5

If you read the context of that verse the author is lamenting and praying for relief from despair. But he knows to trust the God who loves him unfailingly. A love that does not fail. He has not been failed by God.

I was not failed by God. I had to cross that off the list of possible reasons for this unfathomable occurrence in our life.

In the midst of life's trying circumstances it is so natural for us to question God. I know I've done more than my fair share. But I think God is okay with that - he allowed Jacob to wrestle with him for an entire night when He could have squashed him in a nanosecond.

But my point today is that in the wrestling don't forget that God loves you with an unfailing love. It is impossible for Him to fail His children. Let Him love on you during this trying time and don't let the enemy deceive you into thinking God has anything but perfect, unfailing love for you - His child.

Monday, June 9, 2008


I heard this song for the first time yesterday and the lyrics spoke so deeply to my heart that I had to share . . .

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
- "Whatever You're Doing" Sanctus Real

Amen. Amen.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Fun Widget ---->

I just put a new widget on the blog - it allows everyone to see who's commented on which post! Fun! This way if I reply y'all can see it over there -----> without having to check back on different posts. Ah, blog world is so fun!