I love writing.
I love writing this blog.
For some reason, however, it's become more difficult lately. Partly because life is just busy. But don't we always make time for what really matters to us? I find myself aware at how much time goes by in between posts but feel creatively dry.
I started this blog because I no longer felt good about having my "personal" blog available to any Joe Schmo with pictures of my family, most especially our daughter. But I still wanted a place to share spiritual thoughts, encouragements and struggles . . .I didn't want to cordon off my whole self from blogland (i.e. the two other people that read this - ha!). So I made this blog sans personal info or pictures to keep it public and made my personal blog private. Problem solved I thought.
And for a while the posts came flowing. For whatever reason over the past several months that flow has slowed to a drip. I almost get the feeling that the blog has served it's purpose - whatever it was - and it's time to move on.
Almost.
I can't want to completely close this blog out yet. Maybe it's just a season. But for you two people that read this, check back every now and then just in case I get inspired. :-)
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
What the Lord Has NOT Done
Yesterday morning I heard the following verse on a local radio station:
And I was struck at how thankful I am at what the Lord has NOT done . . .
He has not treated us as our sins deserve
He does not repay us according to our inequities
He has not allowed us to be moved out from under the umbrella of His unfailing love
He has not given up on us
He has not allowed the enemy to consume us
He has not let the waters sweep over us or the fires set us ablaze
He has not left us alone
He will not break us even when we are bruised reeds
He will not snuff us out even when we are just smoldering wicks
And on and on . . .Praise the Lord for what He has done. And NOT done.
"He does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities." Psalm 103:10
And I was struck at how thankful I am at what the Lord has NOT done . . .
He has not treated us as our sins deserve
He does not repay us according to our inequities
He has not allowed us to be moved out from under the umbrella of His unfailing love
He has not given up on us
He has not allowed the enemy to consume us
He has not let the waters sweep over us or the fires set us ablaze
He has not left us alone
He will not break us even when we are bruised reeds
He will not snuff us out even when we are just smoldering wicks
And on and on . . .Praise the Lord for what He has done. And NOT done.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Marinate Me
We've been visiting different churches every Sunday since we moved as I am so anxious to find "our" place and plug in. The preacher at the last church we visited delivered one of those sermons that was so full of wisdom I couldn't hardly keep up with it. My mind was constantly turning over each point and then he'd lay down another for me to chew on. I knew I'd have to listen to this one several times. (Good thing they gave visitors a free CD of that morning's message!)
One of the phrases he used has stuck in my brain. As he spoke on the need for quality quiet time with the Lord he said,
What a great visual! When you marinate something long enough (quality time) it soaks into the core of food - it becomes an integral part of the overall taste. But even that is only true if what you're marinating is porous enough, ready to receive the flavor. If you don't give something enough time to marinate it can't soak through very deep. It looks nice and coated on the outside but that's the only place the taste will be. Cut off the outside and the inside shows no trace of the flavor. It's easily separated. AND, according to our household grilling expert - my hubby - if you don't marinate meat for long enough and then toss it on the grill the flame will destroy the flavor of the marinade. It will be like it was never on there to begin with.
I want to soak in the Spirit. I want to spend enough quality time with him that he is all the way through me - to the core where he is an integral part of me. Not just on the outside where I appear to be covered in Spirit but the inside remains unchanged. Not so shallow that the flames of life and of the enemy can wipe away any trace of Spirit, as if he were never there. I want to be soaked to the bone.
This, not surprisingly, is NOT easy for me!!! In a house with an early-rising toddler and an extremely needy dog (seriously - if you've met her you know where I'm coming from) there is a shortage of long stretches of quiet. And the enemy isn't giving me a break anytime soon. Also not surprisingly, every since I recommitted (well, attempting) to wake up early in quest of quiet time something has come in the way. Most often it's my own reluctance to get out of bed. But once I'm out, the dog is going crazy and/or the girl is waking up. Sigh . . .
But I'll keep trying to marinate myself in the Spirit and trust that he can use even micro-mustard seed efforts.
One of the phrases he used has stuck in my brain. As he spoke on the need for quality quiet time with the Lord he said,
"Sometimes you need to just marinate yourself in it (the Spirit)."
What a great visual! When you marinate something long enough (quality time) it soaks into the core of food - it becomes an integral part of the overall taste. But even that is only true if what you're marinating is porous enough, ready to receive the flavor. If you don't give something enough time to marinate it can't soak through very deep. It looks nice and coated on the outside but that's the only place the taste will be. Cut off the outside and the inside shows no trace of the flavor. It's easily separated. AND, according to our household grilling expert - my hubby - if you don't marinate meat for long enough and then toss it on the grill the flame will destroy the flavor of the marinade. It will be like it was never on there to begin with.
I want to soak in the Spirit. I want to spend enough quality time with him that he is all the way through me - to the core where he is an integral part of me. Not just on the outside where I appear to be covered in Spirit but the inside remains unchanged. Not so shallow that the flames of life and of the enemy can wipe away any trace of Spirit, as if he were never there. I want to be soaked to the bone.
This, not surprisingly, is NOT easy for me!!! In a house with an early-rising toddler and an extremely needy dog (seriously - if you've met her you know where I'm coming from) there is a shortage of long stretches of quiet. And the enemy isn't giving me a break anytime soon. Also not surprisingly, every since I recommitted (well, attempting) to wake up early in quest of quiet time something has come in the way. Most often it's my own reluctance to get out of bed. But once I'm out, the dog is going crazy and/or the girl is waking up. Sigh . . .
But I'll keep trying to marinate myself in the Spirit and trust that he can use even micro-mustard seed efforts.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Thirsty
O God, you are my God, earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you, my body longs for you, in a dry and weary land where there is no water.
Psalm 63:1
Today a wonderful rain fell on a dry and weary land.
Literally in that the region we're in is in the middle of drought - the lake close to us is down 15 feet we hear and there's strict watering restrictions. But today a wonderful thunderstorm rained down and quenched the thirsty land.
Figuratively in that lately I have felt like that dry and weary land. Still adjusting to a cross-state move away from friends and family can be trying at times (I think that's just human). This morning I woke feeling in a "funk". I knew the enemy was baiting me into a deeper pit and I so did not want to go. Earnestly I prayed (even though no right words or desires would come) and spent some time in the Word. I just felt the need to be close to God even though I didn't know how that would happen. I was thirsty for Him because I knew there was no other way to get through the day.
And He sent the quenching rain.
Not one big downpour, but more like a gentle shower on and off throughout the day. A phone call at just the right time. Listening to my girl sing a praise song. Getting to SEE and talk to my parents (webcams are FUN!!).
I am so in awe of the Lord. Who am I that HE would be mindful of ME???? I never have a good answer to that question.
But I don't feel so dry and weary anymore.
Sunday, August 3, 2008
What Do You Do . . .
When there's nothing else to be done?
Check out the story of this worship leader from Hillsong, his sudden diagnosis with cancer and his response. The first video is the story behind the song, the second is the song itself. Take the time to watch both - it is well worth the time. Be encouraged!
Check out the story of this worship leader from Hillsong, his sudden diagnosis with cancer and his response. The first video is the story behind the song, the second is the song itself. Take the time to watch both - it is well worth the time. Be encouraged!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Identity Part 2
Well, it only took me forever to follow up that last post! We have been in the midst of moving and, well, just general chaos.
But I've so wanted to post the following list. It was given to me on a bookmark during a fabulous Bible study and I have read it over and over (and over . . .) And you can be sure I've been reading it even more lately. Thank you Lord for your beautiful promises!
Who The Bible Says I Am:
The salt of the earth (Matt 5:13)
The light of the world (Matt 5:14)
A child of God (John 1:12)
Part of the true vine (John 15:5)
Christ's friend (John 15:15)
Chosen by Christ (John 15:16)
A personal witness for Christ (Acts 1:8)
A slave of righteousness (Romans 6:18)
Enslaved to God (Romans 6:22)
A daughter/son of God (Romans 8:14-15)
A joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17)
A temple where God's Spirit dwells (I Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
Joined to the Lord (I Cor. 6:17)
A part of Christ's body (I Cor. 12:27)
A new person (2 Cor. 5:17)
One in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:26-29)
An heir of God (Gal. 4:6-7)
God's workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
Righteous (Eph. 4:24)
A citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20)
Hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
An expression of the life of Christ (Col. 3:4)
Chosen of God (Col. 3:12)
Holy (Col. 3:12)
Dearly loved (Col. 3:12)
A daughter/son of light (I Thess. 5:5)
A part of God's holy family (Hebrews 3:1)
A living stone (I Peter 2:5)
Royalty (I Peter 2:9-10)
Part of a priesthood (I Peter 2:9-10)
God's own personal possession (I Peter 2:9-10)
An alien and stranger in this world (I Peter 2:11)
An enemy of Satan (I Peter 5:8)
A sheep in the Lord's pasture (Psalm 23 and 100)
But I've so wanted to post the following list. It was given to me on a bookmark during a fabulous Bible study and I have read it over and over (and over . . .) And you can be sure I've been reading it even more lately. Thank you Lord for your beautiful promises!
Who The Bible Says I Am:
The salt of the earth (Matt 5:13)
The light of the world (Matt 5:14)
A child of God (John 1:12)
Part of the true vine (John 15:5)
Christ's friend (John 15:15)
Chosen by Christ (John 15:16)
A personal witness for Christ (Acts 1:8)
A slave of righteousness (Romans 6:18)
Enslaved to God (Romans 6:22)
A daughter/son of God (Romans 8:14-15)
A joint-heir with Christ (Romans 8:17)
A temple where God's Spirit dwells (I Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
Joined to the Lord (I Cor. 6:17)
A part of Christ's body (I Cor. 12:27)
A new person (2 Cor. 5:17)
One in Christ Jesus (Galatians 3:26-29)
An heir of God (Gal. 4:6-7)
God's workmanship (Ephesians 2:10)
Righteous (Eph. 4:24)
A citizen of heaven (Philippians 3:20)
Hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
An expression of the life of Christ (Col. 3:4)
Chosen of God (Col. 3:12)
Holy (Col. 3:12)
Dearly loved (Col. 3:12)
A daughter/son of light (I Thess. 5:5)
A part of God's holy family (Hebrews 3:1)
A living stone (I Peter 2:5)
Royalty (I Peter 2:9-10)
Part of a priesthood (I Peter 2:9-10)
God's own personal possession (I Peter 2:9-10)
An alien and stranger in this world (I Peter 2:11)
An enemy of Satan (I Peter 5:8)
A sheep in the Lord's pasture (Psalm 23 and 100)
Thursday, July 3, 2008
Identity
Dang it.
I hate when I feel compelled to post about something I really don't want to. It's easier to post generally encouraging stories and thoughts than struggles that are not so shiny and happy. But if we're all about transparency and authenticity (as it should be) then here goes.
"Pretty girls". That's what my dear friend and I always labeled "those" girls who always seemed to have the perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect complexion, perfect body, perfect personality, perfect, perfect, perfect ad nauseaum. As in, "Hey, did you know so-and-so in high school?" "Yeah, she was one of the 'pretty girls'"
Well, three of the sweetest "pretty girls" have walked into my life and will be a part of it for at least the next year or so. And as they're standing in my living room, I'm noticing all their "prettiness" and feeling SO un-pretty in every way. I all of the sudden felt old and boring - and definitely hoping my husband isn't making comparisons. Stupid enemy - I didn't see this pit coming my way and it's been a real battle ever since. Extra scrutiny of face in the morning (why does it still think I'm 15? Stupid acne.), second guessing hair, clothes, etc. Surely I am not the only woman who fights/has fought this battle.
And you know what it comes down to? Where is my security? What is my identity? Am I going to choose to be defined by living up to others' standards or am I going to choose to believe who I am in Christ? (You know, holy, dearly loved, chosen, heir with Jesus . . .all that super-amazing stuff that doesn't even rival which shorts I wear today.)
I was reminded of this again this morning as I sat at my vanity trying hard not to scrutinize. Suddenly I was aware of the t-shirt I had slept in last night that I had yet to shed. It was a gift from my sister at our wedding rehearsal (although I was so jittered by nerves I didn't realize I should have put it on that night . . .but I digress!). A simple white shirt with black lettering: Bride.
I am the Bride of Christ - part of His holy church. And suddenly nothing really seemed comparable to that identification. This made me feel infinitely better.
(But please understand I've had to have this conversation with myself at least a gazillion times today already. Did I mention how stupid the enemy is with his stupid lies????)
I hate when I feel compelled to post about something I really don't want to. It's easier to post generally encouraging stories and thoughts than struggles that are not so shiny and happy. But if we're all about transparency and authenticity (as it should be) then here goes.
"Pretty girls". That's what my dear friend and I always labeled "those" girls who always seemed to have the perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect complexion, perfect body, perfect personality, perfect, perfect, perfect ad nauseaum. As in, "Hey, did you know so-and-so in high school?" "Yeah, she was one of the 'pretty girls'"
Well, three of the sweetest "pretty girls" have walked into my life and will be a part of it for at least the next year or so. And as they're standing in my living room, I'm noticing all their "prettiness" and feeling SO un-pretty in every way. I all of the sudden felt old and boring - and definitely hoping my husband isn't making comparisons. Stupid enemy - I didn't see this pit coming my way and it's been a real battle ever since. Extra scrutiny of face in the morning (why does it still think I'm 15? Stupid acne.), second guessing hair, clothes, etc. Surely I am not the only woman who fights/has fought this battle.
And you know what it comes down to? Where is my security? What is my identity? Am I going to choose to be defined by living up to others' standards or am I going to choose to believe who I am in Christ? (You know, holy, dearly loved, chosen, heir with Jesus . . .all that super-amazing stuff that doesn't even rival which shorts I wear today.)
I was reminded of this again this morning as I sat at my vanity trying hard not to scrutinize. Suddenly I was aware of the t-shirt I had slept in last night that I had yet to shed. It was a gift from my sister at our wedding rehearsal (although I was so jittered by nerves I didn't realize I should have put it on that night . . .but I digress!). A simple white shirt with black lettering: Bride.
I am the Bride of Christ - part of His holy church. And suddenly nothing really seemed comparable to that identification. This made me feel infinitely better.
(But please understand I've had to have this conversation with myself at least a gazillion times today already. Did I mention how stupid the enemy is with his stupid lies????)
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